Insomniac Fanpoetry
by Desire C
Summary: This is a growing series of poems about the Hitchhiker series and related topics. I'll keep uploading them as the ideas come to me, so keep an eye out. Please R&R!
1. Meet Our Heroes

We've travelled across  
The galaxy twice  
Our ship's probability  
Is lower than dice  
  
A pretty young girl  
With a steel trap mind  
An earthman confused  
With no tea he can find  
  
Betelgeusian cousins  
One reporter in field  
The other a president  
Intentions all sealed  
  
We've discovered Deep Thought  
And the ultimate question  
Drank Blasters til dawn  
And more we can't mention  
  
Created petunias  
And a whale in air  
Talked to our ancestors  
Who really don't care  
  
Our adventures have been  
Like George Lucas took coke  
Any semblance of sanity  
Long gone up in smoke  
  
And poor Arthur Dent  
Forever asking  
Where's the tea? I don't get it!  
What will next Thursday bring?  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
This is the first in a series of installments of fanpoetry for my favorite series   
ever. And, because I'm a big believer in bribery, reviews will make me more   
inclined to write more of them. Not that I'm begging. ^-^  
  
If anyone has any suggestions for topics, titles, or styles that you   
would like to see, send it to meadpw@hotmail.com and I'll try my best to write it   
for you(you'll be credited for it, of course!). I'm always up for a challenge. 


	2. Of Vogons and Fainting

Author's Note: I don't own any of the characters in any of these. I forgot to put this in the first one, I think, but it goes for that, too. In fact, it goes for all of the fanpoems I write in this collection. Keep it in mind. I have no money.  
  
"Look here," Ford said  
to Arthur Dent  
"Your planet's been destroyed  
With it goes the radio  
TV dinners and the clock  
You are the only specimen  
Your planet had to give  
Now you freefloat  
In empty space  
On a vogon bypass ship."  
  
Arthur chose that moment  
As the very best to faint  
It's hard to absorb  
(The Earth gone and all)  
When all you know  
Is all but dust  
Nothing balanced anymore  
By anything else but space  
  
With a murmur  
of "Impossible human"  
Ford went about his work  
Getting his bearings  
Checking supplies  
And putting a fish  
In his good friend's ear  
  
"What's that?" Arthur yelped  
Choosing to awake  
Just as the babel  
Swam toward his brain  
Silly, foolish human  
Seeing everything  
Understanding nothing  
It looked like to Ford  
The Guidebook would help  
Its friendly block letters  
Quietly not panicking  
  
"Take this thing  
And read it well  
It will explain the babel fish  
And all you'll need to know"  
Arthur gave a sickly look  
Taking the Guide in hand  
He knew it was Thursday  
Another bad Thursday  
And he hadn't even had his tea 


	3. Babel Fishing

Babel Fishing  
  
Little yellow  
Translation fish  
Intercepts the waves of sound  
Reverts to normal speech  
  
Because of Babel's usefulness  
It somehow proves  
That God exists  
Somewhere out there  
  
By proving religion  
Is not all a farce  
It can be deducted  
That, thereby, God is null  
  
"I hadn't thought  
Of that idea,"  
Said God to his Creation  
And puffed of logic away  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -   
My shortest so far! I hope you like it, despite its   
lack of length. Comments, questions, concerns, and ideas   
are always welcome. And reviews. Please? 


	4. Not A Car

A/N: This one is basically written for Eagle Lord, as he suggested the idea of a Ford's POV poem. Yes, I'm a fanwhore and I'll at least try to write anything you suggest. No, I'm not hinting...  
  
I found him laying  
In mud that day  
It was no time for playing  
We had to get away  
  
Stuck out a thumb  
On an interstellar street  
He thought I was dumb  
Then the Vogons did greet  
  
We writhed in pain  
At the massacre of art  
Still remaining half sane  
We were forced to depart  
  
Saved by one ship  
Almost killed by a dozen  
But nothing can outstrip  
Being reunited with my cousin  
  
It's been a full day  
So now I should rest  
As we float away  
And hope for the best 


	5. Ego Trip Part One

A/N: First of two Zaphod poems, each presenting a different view on the character, as I've seen mixed reactions to his existence in the first place. ::shrug:: I personally always imagined him as really hot, so to each his(or her) own.  
  
Beeblebrox  
A name so strong  
Chiseled in archives  
Written in song  
  
That Zaphod boy  
The president now  
With the greatest ship  
Can it fly? And how!  
  
A cousin Ford  
His blood and genes  
(Assuming Betegeusians  
Have all of those things)  
  
Two heads, three arms  
God knows what more!  
Keeping maintained  
Must be such a chore  
  
Somehow, some way  
His plan always works  
Because of his style  
And paranoid quirks  
  
Every star  
Up in the sky  
Is at the mercy  
Of this really froody guy 


	6. Ego Trip Part Two

A/N: I think I'll note here that I particularly appreciated(/sarcasm) the delightful double-post review of Hydrogen Elf. The good little kiddies can come over for a s'mores roast over that little poorly-spelled flame. But please, feel free to critique me, but remember it's different than criticizing. I had a very bad day today (not explaining it here), and the last thing I want to see is "You suck, stop writing" in my inbox. Please, let's be adults here. If you want to tell me I suck, please do it in an e-mail so I can reply easily. Thanks, love.  
  
Beeblebrox  
The nothingth  
Not a flower in sight  
To put on Grandad's grave  
  
Two blond heads  
No brain between  
But an ego  
Bigger than the sky  
  
Two broad smiles  
Much charm within  
Without, deviation smirk  
Hiding something.  
What? 


End file.
